Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.
Sincerely, it's not our fault, it's how you raised us.
My atheist neighbor has helped more people in the past year than my entire congregation has in the past ten.
After calculating that I wasted 3390 hours in church the first 13 years of my life, I vowed to spend 3390 hours doing volunteer work that would actually make a difference in the world.
Supporting gay rights does not make me a lesbian any more than supporting the civil rights movement made my mother black, you idiot.
1. Elton John's real name is Reginald Dwight.
2. The temperature of a fart at time of creation is 98.6 °F.
3. Walt Disney received one full size Oscar and 7 mini size for Snow White.
4. A python can swallow a pig whole.
5. Men who part their hair on the right tend to live longer then those who part on the left.
6. High heels were originally made for men.
7. A cluster of bananas is called a hand.
8. Buzz Aldrin left a copy of play boy on the moon.
9. George Bush was a school cheerleader.
10. The sound of E.T. walking was made with jelly.
11. If Sharks go upside down they slip into a coma.
12. Hitler received 1,000 letters a month of fan mail.
13. The original title for the Beatles song 'Yesterday' was 'Scrambled Eggs'.
14. Pigeons can't fart.
15. The greatest height a chicken egg has been dropped without cracking is 700 ft.
16. The world's oldest light bulb is still working since 1901.
17. Wayne Allwine, the voice of mickey was married to Russi Taylor, the voice of Minnie.
18. NASCAR driver, Tim Flock is the only driver in motor racing history to have to make a pit stop to remove a monkey from his car.
19. If you pee in the shower you can save 1157 gallons of water a year.
20. A pigs willy is shaped like a corkscrew.
21. The longest traffic jam was 110 miles long.
22. The Beatles used the word love 613 times in their songs.
23. There are 6700 languages.
24. You can die from laughing.
25. The whip was the first invention to break the sound barrier.
26. Pepsi was originally called, "Brad's Drink"
27. Shakespeare invented the word, "Assassination".
28. Thinking about your muscles can make you stronger.
29. Barophobia is the fear of gravity.
30. A group of crows is called a murder.
31. The richest dead person is Elvis Presley.
32. It takes 595 oranges to charge an iPhone.
33. Romans invented the lollipop.
34. One blowfish contains enough poison to kill 30 people.
35. The beetle styled car, was Hitler's idea.
36. Elvis got a 'C' grade in music class.
37. Columbus believed the Earth was pear shaped.
38. Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow a duck is watching you.
39. If you shout for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would produce enough energy to warm a cup of coffee.
40. An average man spends 145 days of his life shaving.
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Picasso.
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom. - Perry Farrell.
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. - Mother Teresa.
Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. - Frank Lloyd Wright.
So I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. Till then my windows ache. - Pablo Neruda.
In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel.
When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do. - Walt Disney.